Just Chatting

Hi – back…. had some interesting responses to my blog(s) yesterday and thank you.  It was not meant though to shame and expose people – the intention was merely to let friends/family and my larger circle understand what is happening and why I am so distracted.  Difficult line I know to travel… I do my best…

I recently watched Housewife 49 written and starring Victoria Wood, who has developed into an incredible all round artist and I enjoy watching her “bio-dramas” very much.  Nella – the main character – was involved in a mass observation project during the wartime years and it struck me when she folded some pencil written scraps of paper – joined together with a scrap of wool – that that was something my mum used to do.

This led to all sorts of conversations with DH who was a war baby (can’t you tell from the fridge !! – nothing will be thrown away until it walks out or surrenders !and the house is a tribute to the make do and mend era– everything will come in handy sometime! ) and it then occurred to me what we had and have lost in the way of the “written” word.  Blogging seems to have replaced the written diary.  Whilst I think blogging is brilliant and I am a great fan – I am fearful that there are so many “words” that they will be lost to future generations.

I have kept an informal diary over the last 20 years – a series of notebooks with thoughts, scribbles and general items which attract my eye  rather than any serious prose.  I stopped this in about the middle of last year due to the sheer nature of the grief I was encountering, time constraints and just general depression – what on earth would I have to say which would be of interest to anybody in the future?. 

When I was going through them on Saturday this week – they fell off the shelf in the sitting room so I had to do something – I realised that actually the “me” of the future was missing out – I use them as source books for ideas, and also my children would probably get to know me a lot better than I know myself.

When my mum died it sounds silly as I was 15 so I did “know” her.  But actually it was only in my thirties and forties and having children I realised there was so much more I never had a chance to know.  My mum left poetry behind – which have been a great solace to me.  Also raised so many questions – who is that dark haired man with brown eyes she talks about?  He was never in my life – and she obviously loved him deeply and painfully…

So back to the notebooks and blogging I shall go….On my writing journal programme I have the facility to write to myself in the future.  I shall use that.

Now it is just not the act of blogging that I enjoy – but the reading of blogs..

Here are a couple of excellent links of the many that I read regularly:-

Buttons and Beeswax

Araignee's Tangled Web

Cally Booker

I am going to make it a new week’s resolution to try to comment more – as I love reading blogs so much.

Judgment has been delivered…

This is the landmark day for us.  A FINAL decision – well that is what is says on the tin - or so we hope.

The Defendant’s Appeal has been dismissed by the Three highly qualified Judges of the Appellant Court.  There is still some dispute going on in the background..

I won’t reprise my rant here – but if you wish to read my comments please feel free to drift over to www.dyeverse.org.

In the meantime, today – the first day of the rest of my life – I am concentrating on and considering what on earth I am going to do about resurrecting my dyeing, spinning, weaving, writing, and the rest of the things that I could do for a living – apart from arguing that is !!!

They have now all gone onto the back burner for as many months as I can remember and I am almost at the point of forgetting how to write fiction when all I can think about is fact.  Actually thinking about it, most of the facts I am dealing with could be distorted to become fiction quite easily – oohps, forgot they had – by the Defendants – ooh bitchy…

So here is some drop-spindling to wet your craft appetite… and

With some creative writing underway – oh and some course work…

and a sign spotted a couple of weeks ago – which I thought a little sexist – but the point will not be lost on any one who sees it on my door in the near future..!!

Spring has sprung?

What bizarre weather we are having – so much so yesterday I was out in shirt sleeves at 5pm watching the sunset – then I got cold and wondered why?!!

Had a funny sort of day yesterday, still can’t get anything done – and have to stop myself from trying to do too much when the waves of fog from my brain raise temporarily before it all descends and joined up thinking becomes something of the past. 

Connectivity issues seem to be a problem here again at the moment.  Hopefully the government plans will sort out Cullompton at some point and then I can stop wondering around looking for a signal at farm gates (!).  There is some sort of metaphor here for a writer.  I spent half my youth looking for a signal at farm gates with “DH” – the first time around… (dirty laugh follows….)

Mine cuts in and out (the WiFi signal, not sex life !!) on a regular basis and I am sat right on top of the router here, and have the latest technology. Down at the Merry Harriers, the local pub which still has character, panache and brill food… none of their card machines work consistently and John can be seen doing the “wiggle dance” in the doorway on many a night, which whilst highly entertaining and the stuff of folklore for future generations, shows how bad general connections and signals are! not a good vibe for a professional business, but it is fun and he does do the hip action with practiced aplomb of an entertainer…

So back to the knitting… thank you all so much for making such an effort to communicate with me. It has been brought to my attention that yet again commenting is an issue.  I am so sorry.  I have altered the settings again, and if all else fails

shani@dyeverse.org

will find me.  You can also find this link on the contacts page.  If you want your comment reposted to the blog, please say so, otherwise I will just answer you as best I can.  But I do appreciate your interaction. 

Back to knitting and the sock pattern…. no I did not make up the original pattern.  It has been around in many guises for as many years as I and my mother and auntie before me.  No I don’t know where it was originally published.  Handknitted socks were the stuff of War I and War II knitting and you couldn’t pop down to a local store to buy some cheap nylon versions, so as kids we all had handknitted socks until the white ones became available (ugh). 

On this return to sock knitting in about 2006/7 I used a basic pattern given free from Get Knitted when you buy their sock yarn.  I have since found the same pattern given free elsewhere, in fact all over the place, with some difference in typo settings etc.  

The one I found from Ravelry which looked fairly basic was Simple Sock Recipe, which I hope you can pick up if you are not a Ravelry member. (Ravelry is free remember, so please don’t feel reluctant about joining and you will find loads of people to help you if you are a newbie). 

Otherwise try the local library or just google sock patterns, or try Sarah at the Spinning Weal… my short stop for everything..

When I next knit up a sock from the start, I will photograph it from the start and at various stages, and put it all together in a more readable pamphlet.  From the photos I go this morning though, it seems that the two stars I was originally helping have now completed their first ones.  So even though my description was longer than the original pattern !!! and very long winded, combined with everything we seem to have got there in the end.

Just reinforces to me though how much I do from memory and how difficult it is to write notes in or describe in another medium something you do instinctively or by rote.  A bit like writing/drawing debate I suppose.

or photography one… here is Toby taking a picture of me taking a picture of him, on an afternoon which defied description.  The weather, scenery and company were magical…

Amazing what can be achieved when you want it as badly as we have… thank you Adapted Vehicle Hire who so supportively stepped into to help when the motability vehicle became an impossible dream/nightmare (still being built and due to now be in the country at the end of January !).

To be told you can have something, but then the practicalities making it impossible, along with timescales which beggar belief…

Transport has changed our world and made so many things possible that just could not be done before… Just shame we had to sort it ourselves… no wonder I am stressed !!! – but so worth it…

for an hour we were normal again yesterday – as a family should be…

Happy Old Christmas….

 

Just when you thought you were totally “feast dayed” out… there is one more you may have missed…

6th January, known to us as commonly as Twelfth Night, is in fact the Old Christmas Day…

So if you are still one of those who actually believes that Christmas Day is about the Celebration of Jesus Christ rather than a day of rest before venturing out to return all the unwanted stuff and take advantage of the Boxing Day Sales, this is welcome news.

It also explains something very deep within my psyche.  I have always believed quite irrationally and against all arguments to the contrary that twelfth night is something to celebrate, and attach quite undue superstitious fervour to taking down the trimmings before. 

I have never understood why I hold this belief as it is very contrary to my normal way of thinking – especially as I don’t actually celebrate Christmas as a Feast Day itself.  So perhaps somewhere back in my dark distant family history I inherited this from those around me when I was small and every now and again catch a glimpse of magic in the dark and drab days which follow the removal of the tinsel. 

So the fact behind the “feelings”

The Roman year was organized round the phases of the moon until old Julius Caesar realised (or rather all his advisers – astronomers, rather than MPs - did) that it wasn’t accurate . So it was changed to use the Sun as its starting point.  Unfortunately this calendar (the Julian) overestimated the length of the year, and despite all kinds of negative easements, the calendar was 10 days out by the time Pope Gregory XIII got to grips with the problem in 1582.  This new Gregorian calendar was adopted throughout Catholic Europe.  (So this is where I probably unconsciously picked up the vibe – my folks were always resistant to change for changes sake…!).

Now as we all know the Protestants and the Catholics hardly historically agreed on anything, and being quite resistant to change stuck with their way of doing things, which effectively meant that Paris was a full 10 days behind London…

Now that would never do, especially with travel etc., opening up, so the Gregorian Calendar was adopted in the middle of the 18C across Europe. 

So the date on which we celebrate Christmas now, is actually wrong and it should be 6th January, if you keep to the Roman way of thinking – and after all, Jesus was a Roman so it is only logical they would have know when he was born – eh? 

Today the 6th is known as Epiphany (the word itself is worth looking up, meaning Vision of God) and apart from taking down the trimmings has been significantly unmarked for most of us without religious knowledge.

The only reason I even went looking for the info today, was because I am reading a fascinating fiction book about a group of Amish women, and they referred to new and old Christmas within that.

The book is published in Episodes, so if you buy the first one for 0.77p and decide you don’t like it, or it doesn’t work for you, you are not committed to buying the whole book.  This appeals to me as I like to try before I buy and have found myself with a lot of nonesense on my iPad, and a lot of obstacles in my hallway and stairs I trip over, whilst I sort out what I really want to read. 

I am thinking about undertaking a bit of an adventure down this episode pathway myself when I start back writing in the near future. 

Anyway back to the stories.  They are really well crafted and the characters and issues they are dealing with are growing on me.  The authoress, Karen Ann Vogel, obviously has insight and personal experience of the community and I love all the little links and bits of knowledge that is included, such as traditional recipes and use of knitting looms. 

Instead of trying to tackle a big project when I get myself back into the zone, I think I too will try some short stories with an underlying thread..

Back to my knitting and finishing my paintings…

and what are you up to?

IMHO

In my humble opinion, blogging is an interesting and worthwhile past time, when used sensibly…

I love blogging, in that it serves a few functions for me…

a) Keeps me in touch with friends and relatives who with the best will in the world I cannot speak or visit with on a regular basis;

b) allows me to organise my thoughts and creative world in a way that writing on a blank sheet of A4 or a document in word doesn’t;

c) blogging is an interactive past time for me, in that I also follow other blogs and get all kinds of inspiration, confidence in my own thoughts and opinions, ideas and interests/involvement in my various fields of study and personal growth;

d) helps me part of a community that isn’t possible within the physical world as rarely are all my friends in one place at one time.. if ever;

e) and when I am working it showcases and offers a peek into my production process.

Where blogging goes a bit tiddles up is when others interpret my words in contexts they are not intended or within a different framework that the post was written in.  It can take me days to write one blog post – which in the real world is not an acceptable work rate.  Also blogging can sometimes overtake the actual “doing” part of my creative psyche and it is actually important sometimes to not be sat at the computer, but doing something physical instead.

More and more of this was happening over the past few months, so I have got into the habit of not blogging, and then have – horror of all horrors - drifted into the habit of not writing… and then it all becomes cyclical when the thoughts end up going around and round my head, rather than outpourings into the…. well where ever my random thoughts go when they leave my computer…

But this morning I felt the urge to blog and share with you my random thought experiment.

I feel at this moment in time as if I am in the “eye” of the storm.  This holiday season has been strangely surreal.  For once I have welcomed the absence of communication as this has meant the absence of worry or concern about receiving news which will affect the rest of my life and those closest to me. 

I am quite stoic about the news, just don’t know what I would do with it, quite at the moment with Britain being shut down for the festive season. Apart from the shops and car parks and public houses and……

Curiously though something else has happened to my personae - I haven’t been my habitual ebullient and somewhat snarky self, fending off all well wishers with a “bah humbug” and attempting to place myself in a state of grace that allows me to suspend realities of social convention and accept that it is quite normal for various humans inhabiting the world around me to behave like eejits and therefore disregard their aberrations as linked with seasonal insanity disorder (SID instead of SAD).

Instead I have been sitting outside of myself, mostly knitting (or facilitating the Tobster as he goes about his seasonal travelling), watching others still behaving in this manner.  What is different this year is that instead of pointing out the error of their ways and asking them to desist in my presence, or more usually removing myself from their orbit – I have just watched and “harvested” some of the most bizarre and comical moments – well what is one to do without Morecombe and Wise, with only Eastenders, Emmerdale and Coronation Street to keep me anchored in reality….? (mental note to check fire alarms, and that the first aid kit contains necessaries for unexpected deliveries..).

When I woke at stupid o’clock this morning with the reprise of yesterday’s vicious words, needs and demands, floating around my head, and the vile meal that we had eaten last night also repeating on me.  I really was at a loss as to how to deal with the situation and so then I went off on a bit of thought experiment…

I concluded:

• No wonder the waitress tried to clear the evidence of the crime before we had finished eating! (honestly – DH was mid mouthful as the plate was being whisked away !!!).  She obviously wasn’t used to recognising empty plates – others were being returned having not even been touched.  In our defence we hadn’t lost our taste buds, we were just desperate for some quiet time and driven by the need to refuel.  

Even though I was cross at the time -  It really struck me how the tightening economy has an upside – can’t see the near empty pub surviving the current economic hardships, as well as some of those we are unfortunately have to deal with, as we go about our daily business, remaining employed.

Also there is hope for my cooking…

• I reluctantly have to accept that there is nothing I can do or say anymore to convince some that I really do have a philosophy of living and have boundaries that are sacrosanct. 

Nothing, nada, will ever make me change my mind or approach on a couple of key issues – so bloody well stop trying.    It is not your job to “change” me or mine to replicate you and yours.  I do not disrespect you, but the tolerance of disrespect of mine is coming to an end. 

• Finally, most importantly of all – the realisation that no material/experience is ever wasted. 

Have you ever noticed how successful characterisations are often reused time and time again?   If  you haven’t consciously, try watching Four Weddings and a Funeral and Notting Hill back to back.  You will see similar characteristics reprised and rewritten.

So perhaps this is what defines my idea of a good film – one totally re-watchable as there are familiar characters and plot lines I can identify with whatever my state of humour.  Familiar enough to be entertaining when watched, but distant enough as I don’t have to interact with the characterisations.

This is a bit like what has happened this holiday season.  I have only interacted with those I really have had to – because I actually wanted to. The rest I have managed to steer well clear of, as they go about their parallel universal way of working and thinking. 

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I have taken this thought experiment and played with it for a few more hours this morning after writing the above - and I am wondering if I have hit on what has behind my writing/craft block this year.  The realisation that I had recycled my favourite characters and processes to exhaustion – with very little private quiet thinking time available to me anymore and being endemically too tired/overwrought/depressed/worried (delete as appropriate) to actively find the energy to replenish the stock. 

Hadn’t occurred to me, that actually I could do nothing and just let it all come to me !

With my pragmatic head on….

I shall never be short of a stereotypical comically absurd character again….simples…

Then I can free my mind to create colour, joy and warmth with my textiles and then… the possibilities are endless. 

I have a feeling I am going to enjoy this coming writing year as I plot and orchestrate some fun with my cast of absurd characters – as they interact with some of my more delightful humane ones – based on those whom I am blessed to know in real life as friends and family.

Will you recognise yourself?  I wonder….